Friday, November 11, 2011

Defining Success in Modern Orthodoxy: Thoughts on Rav Nosson Zvi Finkel

After I recently wrote about the upcoming thirtieth yahrtzeit of my father, a number of people commented on just how young he was when he died, leaving my mother to raise seven children between the ages of sixteen and two. Looking back, I continue to marvel at what she accomplished. Somehow, she raised each of us to follow in the values of Torah and Shemirat Hamitzvot. Each one of her children is an active, dedicated member of his or her Orthodox community, no small feat for a family that suffered such a devastating blow at such an early stage.
One interesting aspect of my family is the spectrum of Orthodoxy that we represent. From my brother in Florida and me (both of whom attended Yeshiva University) on the "modern" side of the spectrum, to my sisters who attended Stern College and married "yeshivish" (please excuse the generalizations) to another brother who first studied in yeshiva after high school but then went on to university and medical school, to my brother who learned for years in kollel and never attended college and sister whose husband studied in kollel in Lakewood for years. I'm not sure to what degree my mother guided each of our choices, but she honored them. My sister always wanted Beis Ya'akov Yerushalayim. My mother understood what that meant and supported her. When a brother transferred from Sha'alvim to Rav Zvi Kushelevsky's yeshiva, my mother stood behind him. In hindsight, she didn't seem to care where on the Orthodox spectrum we fell. But she did - and still does care deeply that we maintain our allegiance to Torah and mitzvot.
He was clearly proud of his upbringing.
Are his students?
It is in this context that I contemplate the recent passing of the late Mir Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Nosson Zvi Finkel. By now it's well known that Rav Finkel grew up in Chicago and attended what would later become the Ida Crown Jewish Academy. That revelation brought me to wonder: When a modern Orthodox institution educates a child who then goes on to accept some most tenets of its ideology, but reject others, is that a success? Or, better yet, to what degree is that a success? If you find the question provocative, ask it the other way around: If a graduate of a right-wing yeshiva grew up to become a major Modern Orthodox leader and thinker (perhaps like this giant), would that institution proudly promote the accomplishments of its graduate? Or would it instead say (as was quoted in Ha'aretz) about Rav Finkel that while,
"He grew up on baseball, American kosher hotdogs, apple pie and everything else that represents the American Jewish scene. He transcended all - in order to develop into a personality that develops other personalities."
In other words, he had to overcome his upbringing in order to become the Rosh Yeshiva that he became. Yesterday, my wife and kids watched a video report on Israel National News about the funeral, which included commentary from a number of people including Rabbi Avrohom Goldstein, the Co-head of the Diaspora Yeshiva in Jerusalem, who said a number of times in his two minute narrative that Rav Finkel achieved greatness despite the fact that he, "Grew up from nothing and built himself into a giant." 
No, he didn't grow up from nothing. He grew up in a family that cherished Torah enough to send him to an Orthodox Jewish Torah school, an act we might now take for granted but certainly was not widely popular in the late fifties and early sixties when Rav Finkel attended high school. It was a major, significant expense that many families simply could not justify. But his parents paid that price, and reaped the benefits of merit and nachas in the accomplishments their son would achieve not despite his Torah education, but because of it.
I am sure that the Ida Crown Jewish Academy is, and should be proud that its graduate grew to become a major figure in the Orthodox world. As well it should be. Modern Orthodoxy need not be about creating replicas of ourselves. It must - and I think does correctly - realize that different students will find their unique relationship to Torah Judaism, and that Orthodoxy's message resonates in each of us differently. Were we to consider right-wing graduates as "failures" who we didn't properly educate (or more appropriately, "indoctrinate") to "our" values, I would consider the failure not in the child, but in the educational vision. Kids aren't stamps. They aren't clones. They must be given the leeway to find their own path in Torah, allowing them to thrive in the manner most appropriate to them.
My mother (and others as well), recognizing my passion for Religious Zionism, likes to needle me by asking, "What will you do if one of your children chooses Chareidi Judaism?" In essence she's asking, "How would you feel if your child rejected your way of life?" The question used to bother me more than it does now. I have grown to answer (truthfully, I think), "I would love and respect that child. If they want to be Chareidi, great! But," I always add, "I would make it quite clear: If you want be Chareidi, I will honor and respect your choice. But I'm not going to pay for it or support it." 
Rav Finkel didn't come from "nothing." He didn't "transcend" his American Torah education. That education encouraged him to strive to be the great Torah scholar he became. It gave him the foundation of values and skills which guided him for the rest of his life. It probably gave him the communication skills so critical to grow the Mir into the colossus it has become.
His life represents not a failure of Modern Orthodoxy, but yet another example of its great success.

9 comments:

  1. Very thoughtful article!! Would you pay for and support it if your son chose a modern orthodox kollel to learn in?

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  2. There is an important element missing from all the stories about Rav Finkel, z"l.
    What ever happened to family minhag?
    People make a big deal of how long they wait after meat to have milk, or whether or not they eat gebrokhts. Family minhag isn't just limited to small issues like this but also reaches areas of hashkafah. A person who grows up in a specific type of home and then goes and chooses another hashkafah and set of minhagim is stating that his family origins are not good enough for him, that he feels no allegiance to him, that he's evolved beyond them, else why would he have changed?
    Imagine a boy who comes home to his 3 hour father and announces that he now waits 6 hours like his rosh yeshivah. Is that respectful? Heck, is it even permitted? We're not talking about a case where the boy comes from a non-religious home and has to acquire some standard but one who comes from a standard and then discards it.
    Is Modern Orthodoxy a standard or just a place marker? Is the boy who grows up in the home where the MO father does X and Y free to change his minhag because they're not real minhagim like a Chosid or Litvak father might have?
    By becoming Chareidi, was Rav Finkel rejecting his family origins and announcing that they're not good enough?

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  3. A commenter emailed the following comment to me:
    1) I don't believe Rav Finkel zt"l saw anything he did as changing from his family's minhag. I doubt that specifically had a minhag not to learn Torah too much, or be'davka not to wear a hat and jacket. What exactly did he 'change' that his parents' minhag would have opposed?

    2) And if you believe that there were major hashkafic differences: surely you would agree that a person has to do in life what he sees as right. How could a person say, "I think that this is the wrong way of life, but I must live it because my parents did?" Would you extend that to being secular, or to extreme vegetarianism, or to supporting fringe movements?

    3) However, I don't believe that MO or so-called UO parents raise their kids with davka MO/UO values. I would like to think that they emphasize things that are more basic, important and relevant, like the importance of learning and keeping the Torah with mesirat nefesh/mesiras nefesh, the importance of constantly improving midot/midos, tefillah, etc. etc. etc. etc. These would go much further than inculcating a chinuch that one must choose davka the derech of Rav Kook or Rav Soloveitchik or the Chason Ish or Brisker Rav.

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    1. Was just thinking about your original question, and had a similar reaction to what I see in #3 here - when someone MO says one of their own became a success, that means they are acknowledging the primacy of Torah. The wrong turn that many take is getting caught up with the specific hashkafic style and considering that the evidence of success or failure.

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  4. In response to your question: When a modern Orthodox institution educates a child who then goes on to accept some most tenets of its ideology, but reject others, is that a success? Or, better yet, to what degree is that a success?

    I would like to refer you to the words of Rav Moshe Chaim Luzzato, in the chapter of Watchfulness in his seminal work the Mesilas Yesharim. Our goal should be towards "perfection" in our relationship to our creator. The leniency and allowances of Modern Orthodoxy can sometimes lead individuals to activities that detract from obtaining that "perfection". The RAMCHAL clearly states that our purpose is to rise in level's of holiness and sanctity. I believe that these statements can act as a measuring rod for an individual. The fact that Rabbi Finkel was able to grow in levels of Torah observance and mitzvot as it relates to Orthodoxy can be viewed as an achievement. The fact that he chose to be a Rosh Yeshiva as opposed to a mailman (not that there is anything wrong with being a mailman) is a mark of success.

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  5. Maybe you need to refine some of the thoughts or explain them better.
    "I will honor and respect your choice. But I'm not going to pay for it or support it." implies something less than honor and respect that might be more fully explained.
    And if you believe "different students will find their unique relationship to Torah Judaism, and that Orthodoxy's message resonates in each of us differently" why not pay for it?

    A quibble: YTV was not a RW yeshiva in the 60's and early 70's -- at least not as we understand it today. When I graduated the HS in 1975, French was still being offered.

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  6. "I will honor and respect your choice. But I'm not going to pay for it or support it." implies something less than honor and respect that might be more fully explained."

    How? Honor, respect and support are different. Honor and respect mean that our personal relationship will remain as strong as ever. I will welcome you into my house, I may even seek out food that adhere to the specific hechsherim and chumrahs you've taken on to make your visits as easy as possible, and I will be proud of your growth as an individual and a yorai HaShem. That doesn't mean I have to give you money to live that lifestyle. You want to live that way, you find a way to pay for it.

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  7. Very nice blog post. Rav Aharon Lopiansky mentioned his modern upbringing, co-ed schooling, and how his uncle Rav Benesh recruited Rav Nosson to Mir Yeshiva. Sometimes having Haredi family influences ones decision. I had a chavrusa in Yeshiva with a similar story: Yeshivish uncle recommended Haredi institutions for his MO nephew. Nephew is now Yeshivish and very happy with his life

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  8. >Nephew is now Yeshivish and very happy with his life<

    I'd be very happy as well if I didn't have to think for myself and had my bills all paid for by the hard work of others.

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