Where Are the Women? In Haredi Comics, Women are Nowhere to be Found

This past Shabbat, my daughter discovered a book that had been sitting in our library for a while. "A Yiddishe Kop" is a very popular puzzle book, which asks the reader to look at beautifully illustrated pictures and decipher puzzles hidden throughout the book. My daughter spent hours poring over the pictures trying to find clues and answers to the very clever questions, and asked me at one point to help her. The author, Gadi Pollack, is a talented illustrator, and the pictures jump off the page.

I've seen the book before, and enjoyed some of the sharp puzzles. But this time, as I sat next to my seven-year-old, one question jumped out at me from each and every page: Where are the women? In the vast majority of instances, they are nowhere to be found. Here's a sample page I found on the web:

No women on the street, perhaps. But the book has a large number of scenes. I get that there are no women in shul or cheder. But no women at the doctor's office? No women at home? The clever way he gets out of that one is by creating a scene where the mother has just given birth, so the hapless father is stuck in kitchen. There is a woman at the zoo, but you can barely see her hidden in the golf cart. (I can only imagine a zoo where they let patrons drive around in goft carts!)

Pollack just released the second volume of the series (which I learned is also avaiable in English). Here's the sample page:

Again, boys, girls and men. But no women! In the park! In America! (They do not have minivans like those in Haredi communities in Israel.) What happened to the women?

I'm not entirely sure why Pollack feels the need to erase the women from his illustrations. After all, he can draw them as modestly as he liked, in wigs, snoods, however he sees fit. Does he really feel that mere drawings of women will hurt sales of the book?

Modern families must fight back. They must go to their bookstores and tell the owners that they won't buy books, clever as they may be, that erase women from every possible situation. They must send the clear message that until women are portrayed properly, they won't expose their children to this type of media.

Until they do that, the media in which women are absent will continue to expand.

A Nauseating Video

A siyyum - the celebration of the conclusion of a major Jewish work - be it a Mesechet (tractate) of Gemara, or a Seder (order) of Mishnah or even a book of the Tanach - is a momentous occasions. Finishing these extended works takes a great amount of time, effort and energy, and provide great reason for celebration. In fact, the Sages provided a traditional text that we recite at every siyyum. As part of that text we say:

מוֹדִים אֲנַחְנוּ לְּפָנֶיךָ ה' אלוקינו ואלוקי אֲבוֹתֵינוּ שֶׁשַּׂמְתָּ חֶלְקֵנוּ מִיּוֹשְׁבֵי בֵּית הַמִּדְרָשׁ, וְלֹא שַׂמְתָּ חֶלְקֵנוּ מִיּוֹשְׁבֵי קְרָנוֹת. שֶׁאָנוּ מַשְׁכִּימִים וְהֵם מַשְׁכִּימִים אָנוּ מַשְׁכִּימִים לְדִבְרֵי תּוֹרָה וְהֵם מַשְׁכִּימִים לִדְבָרִים בְּטֵלִים. אָנוּ עֲמֵלִים וְהֵם עֲמֵלִים. אָנו עֲמֵלִים וּמְקַבְּלִים שָׂכָר וְהֵם עֲמֵלִים וְאֵינָם מְקַבְּלִים שָׂכָר. אָנוּ רָצִים וְהֵם רָצִים. אָנוּ רָצִים לְחַיֵּי הָעוֹלָם הַבָּא, וְהֵם רָצִים לִבְאֵר שַׁחַת

We are thankful before you God, our God and the God of our forefathers, that you placed our portion among those who sit in the study hall, and did not place our portion among those that sit on the corners. That we rise and they rise. We rise for words of Torah, and they rise for useless things. We toil and they toil. We toil and receive reward, and they toil and do not receive reward. We run and they run. We run to the World to Come, and they run to the bottomless pit [of hell]...

In the text, we never really spell out who "they" are. We give thanks that we are among the portions of those who understand and appreciate the value and holiness of Torah study. But the identity of "them" - who toil worthlessly, is left to our imagination.
Until now, that is.

I didn't go to the "Million Man" Asifah (gathering) - and it wasn't a million, but who's counting? And even though they claimed that it wouldn't be a political gathering but rather simply a mass, public prayer, the gathering itself carried clear political overtones. Thankfully, it went off without a hitch. People went, prayed, and returned to their homes safely.
I've tried to keep away from the press surrounding the event. It really upsets me, and what's the point of reading things that upset you? Then someone shared with me what they're calling the "official" video from the "Asifah", put to a pseudo-rocky chassidish tune with words taken from the text we recite at a Siyyum.
Who are the "we" who sit in the Beit Midrash? The holy "we" are yeshiva bachurim, kollel students, rabbis and basically anyone at the gathering, who took time from their yeshiva schedules to leave the Beit Midrash and gather at the mass rally for yeshiva students.
And who are the "they" who do "wasteful things and are "sitting on street corners"?
"They" are the soldiers of Nachal Chariedi.

"They" are random soldiers who happened to walk through the gathering and were caught on camera.

"They" were the policemen assigned to protect the very safety of the hundreds of thousands of people who gathered at the entrance to Jerusalem!

"They" are Yair Lapid (of course).
And "they" are also Prime Minister Netanyahu, speaking to the United Nations about the threat of a nuclear Iran.

I am very rarely at a loss for words (if you know me personally, you know just how true that statement is), but I am at a loss for words.
Is there no sense of decency? Is there no appreciation at all for the sacrifice of the young men and women in the IDF and the police personnel manning their rally? You may be angry at that Prime Minister of Israel, but do you really think that he's wasting his time dealing with the Iranian nuclear threat? Most disturbingly, these are Torah values? This is what you learn when you spend your days studying Torah??
Moreover, I don't buy the argument that this video was produced by one crazy individual or a single group. It was published by a major Chareidi website. If the video doesn't reflect the values of the larger group, why would the site publish it? Wouldn't their be an outcry from the Chareidi camp? Sadly, I have yet to hear such voices.

Sometimes the obvious must be stated clearly and emphatically: No, these are not Torah values. It is a reprehensible display of hypocrisy, cynicism and selfishness to identify those who defend you, your country, your safety and your interests as people who waste their time away on the street corners.
The producers of this video can't see any of this. They can spend hours cutting and pasting and creating this video, uploading to the Internet (which is supposedly forbidden), to take a nasty swipe at anyone they dislike or with whom they disagree.
Of course I value Torah study. It is an exalted enterprise that I engage in daily; support and encourage. I spent years of my life studying Torah full time. But defending our Homeland is also  a Mitzvah - a critical one at that - and is precisely what made the Chareidi renaissance possible in the first place.
The failure of the Chareidi community to see this fact only highlights the great chasm that they have created between themselves and the rest of Israeli society and the Jewish community at large. Perhaps they do this by design - to create a sense of enmity that will distance themselves from greater Israel. I can only hope so.
How should we respond? In two ways: First and foremost, we must continue to forcefully advocate the religious significance of serving others and serving our country, and the fact that we must give thanks to God for living in this incredible time when the Jewish people proudly and forcefully defend and protect ourselves.
But there must be a negative statement as well. It's now two weeks before Purim, a time when bochurim from yeshivot will begin knocking on my (and your) door. When they do, I will ask them a simple question: Were you at the "asifah"? If the answer is yes, then I have no intention, incentive or desire to give them any donation at all. Maybe, if enough of us stop giving, that will get someone's attention.

Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is: When To Say No to Tzedakah

Gil Student shared a video produced by Hamodia, chronicling the sad, lamentable overwhelming poverty rampant in the Chareidi world. While the video didn't really ask people to give money, it's safe to assume that this is implied. Yet, I humbly suggest that while simple rachmanut (compassion) demands that we give to the food and social service organizations giving vital services to these families, this video, if anything, must strengthen our resolve not to give money to chareidi yeshivot and educational institutions that are promoting (and forcing) this lifestyle of poverty upon yet another generation of youth. The only way that these institutions will change, is if they realize that the money just isn't there to keep going. I strongly encourage everyone who reads this to do the following: When you open the door or recieve the envelope, and the meshulach asks you for a donations for a yeshiva, educational institution, or kollel, ask a few simple questions:

Does your yeshiva teach basic subjects (in Israel it's called limudei libbah), critical to the childrens' ability to gain employment later on? If it's a yeshiva gedolah, ask whether the yeshiva itself has a job training program for young men leaving the system, and, most importantly, what percentage of young men who leave their yeshiva find gainful employment outside of the chinuch system? Does the culture of your yeshiva promote work and gainful employment, or does it teach the young men that those who leave the yeshiva and kollel are sellouts, second-class citizens who simply couldn't make it.

If the answers to these questions are not satisfactory: they don't teach even the most basic skills, and make no effort to encourage education and employment, then don't give them any money. At all.
Because, contrary to the sob story they're selling you, by giving them more money you are actually an accomplice to the future suffering of the children being raised in a system that will trap them in poverty, with no real way out.
I want to be clear: I'm not against kollel. I learned in kollel. But I am against a kollel system that completely rejects any other type of secular learning and training. Let the guys go to kollel. But then encourage them both during and after the kollel years to study and get real degrees so that they can then enter the workforce and earn a decent living.
This sad saga has so many tragic victims. First and foremost, of course, is that of the children and families suffering. But even more frustrating is that this catastrophe is entirely unnecessary. Chareidim aren't going away. Their numbers continue to grow, and the chareidim are projected to grow to more than half of the Israeli population by 2050. Yet, as a whole, the chareidi leadership's refusal to encourage higher education and gainful employment has damned an entire generation - literally hundreds of thousands - to abject poverty. And, at least for now, the jobs are there. Information technology jobs exist, and chareidim would get them, because they many have a wonderful work ethic (see the number of hours they learn in kollel), and are often willing to work for less than their non-chareidi counterparts. But they don't have the basic skills and education to get those jobs that would enable them to buy their children the vegetables and braces they so badly need.
The second, less-considered tragedy of this saga takes place not in Israel, but in America. American chareidim, by and large, have represented a significant portion of olim. Yet, if I were chareidi living in the States I'd watch that video and say, "I'm never moving there." And, if I were a parent with children learning in Kollel in Israel, I'd make sure that once those two or three years ended, my children came back to Brooklyn, or Detroit or whereever. Just not Israel.
After all, who wants their grandchildren to be the face of the next Hamodia video?
Children suffer. Families suffer. The State of Israel suffers, because its economy is dragged down by a sector mired in poverty. The Jewish people suffer, as American chareidim refuse to consider moving to a country where their children will be condemned to abject poverty.
This is kavod hatorah? Sorry, I just don't see it.
So when the meshulach comes, if his institution refuses to teach that work is not a "four letter word", put your money where your mouth is: Just say no.

Gedolim Forgeries

Rav Chaim Kanievsky

Chareidim seem to be in something of a pickle. On the one hand, they declare total allegiance to Gedolim, whose word represents the will of the Torah and cannot be contradicted. Personally, I don't subscribe to such an extreme version of what is called "Da'as Torah", but that's me. (And probably you, if you're reading this blog).
This would all be fine and good if people knew what the Gedolim actually said. But as the great sages advance in age, they simply cannot handle the ever growing demands for their time and attention. Ironically, the older and more physically frail they become, the greater their stature - and the demands of the masses on their time, energy and attention, for blessings, halachic questions and queries about issues of the day.
Thus, these Gedolim are forced to withdraw to a large degree, shielded by a small cadre of "askanim" who field questions, limit access, and filter the unending demands on their time and dwindling energy. This makes sense to me, at least. Major public figures need staffs to handle their affairs. Why shouldn't a Gadol, especially since he probably wants, more than anything else, to learn Torah uninterrupted?
Yet, this lack of access creates an inherent vacuum. How can one follow the word of a Gadol on an issue if he doesn't know what the Gadol actually said?
This has led, inevitably, to a growing phenomenon of Gedolim forgeries - two examples of which we've seen this past week.
Last Sunday, Chassidim held a rally in Manhattan to protest pending legislation in Israel that seeks to draft Chareidim inTO the IDF. Suffice it to say that had I been in New York at the time, I would not have attended. But what's a Litvishe Chareidi to do? Did the Gedolim say do go or not?

At the last minute, someone released a letter in the name of Rav Chaim Kanievsky in which he blessed the proceedings and encouraged people to attend. It turns out that this letter was a forgery, and Rav Kanievsky wrote no such letter. It's hard to know how many people attended due to the letter - yet it clearly created a sense of confusion among Chareidim who didn't know how to react. They are, of course, against the legislation. But is protesting in Manhattan the proper way to react? Would it not be better to remain in yeshiva and learn Torah in protest? That's why you have gedolim - to answer these questions. Unless you don't know what the Gadol actually said.

I noticed a similar example published on a small Chareidi web site (There seem to be an awful lot of these sites, especially since the Gedolim have expressly forbidden internet use. Interesting.) The site shares a letter in which an individual from Bnei Brak asked Rav Kanievsky whether it's appropriate to publicly shame IDF soldiers who look Chareidi (the question itself is fascinating, but not the topic of this post). At the bottom of the letter seems to be a brief answer in Rav Kanievsky's handwriting in the affirmative, and was actually reported as such by a major Chareidi website. (Actually, he seems to write in Hebrew, בוז תבוז לו - "he would be utterly condemned". It might have been quite a clever quote from Song of Songs 8:7 - if Rav Kanievsky had written the line. But it's a misquote. The actual verse is בוז יבוזו לו. He would never have made such an error in an explicit verse.) Yet, the article explains that,

בשיחה שקיימנו עם נאמני בית הרב הם מכחישים כי מרן הביע את עמדתו בנושא הרגיש, עוד מוסיף גורם בבית הרב כי ידוע ומפורסם כי לאחרונה מרן כבר אינו מביע דעתו על נושאים ציבורים בכתב, וכאן נותרו שאלות פתוחות : מי חתם על המכתב? והאם המכתב זוייף על ידי גורמים שונים? כל האופציות פתוחות.

In a conversation with reliable people from the Rav's home, they denied that Rav [Kanievsky] expressed his position about this sensitive topic. A different source from the Rav's house added that it is well known that in the recent past the Rav has stopped expressing his opinion about public issues in writing, leaving open questions: who signed the letter? Was the letter forged by other "forces"? All options are open.

So, Rav Kaneivsky never expressed an opinion about the issue at all. Or so it seems. In fact, he never expresses opinions in writing about public issues anymore, or so they say. Who then does a Chareidi believe if he wants to know Rav Kanievsky's position on a particular issue? How can one believe anything said - or even signed by - a Gadol, if people within the Chareidi community are now willing to forge letters in their names?

The Chareidi Gospel Truth

Rav Moshe Meiselman

Each of us lives with our own individual, subjective truth. Look in the mirror. What do you see? I guarantee that you won't see what everyone else does. Women see something worse than the truth, men something better. (I like to pretend that I still have hair. From my angle viewing the mirror, and with a big enough kippah, I still do.)
We see what we want to see, and not what everyone else clearly sees.
What's true as individuals, holds true as well for entire communities.
Look at the United States today, which has become increasingly divided between "Red" and "Blue." Each group has its own media that it watches/reads/surfs, which feeds it the truths that it chooses to highlight.
This rule applies of course, to every group of every type. Personally, I never realized just how accurately it describes the Chareidi community today, especially in Israel. I really didn't understand just how deeply this rule applies to that community. Until now.
Over the past week, I have encoutered this phenomenon so often, in such dramatic terms, that it (figuratively) slapped me in the face. First, a relative forwarded an interview with Rabbi Moshe Meiselman that was recently published in the Yated. He emailed me saying (in my own words), "Read this article, and then you'll understand just how wrong you are." I read it, and found myself bewildered. I found Rav Meiselman's arguments unconvincing, to say the least, if not baffling and downright mystifying. He seemed to be describing facts and events of which I have no knowledge.
Then, last week, the issue of Rabbi Dov Lipman came up in a private rabbinic arena (I'm leaving things vague). Rabbis that I respect related to Rabbi Lipman (who is a friend of mine) with such vitriol and contempt that I found myself struggling to reconcile their animosity with the generous spirit that I know they possess. What gives? What's the basis for such a deep-seated difference of opinion?
Reading the Meiselman interview several times, it finally dawned on me. We're working with different facts. It's as simple as that. And when there's no common set of facts to discuss, there cannot be room for agreement and compromise. There isn't even place for discussion.
I'll explain, using Rabbi Meiselman's words to illustrate my point.
Discussing the "Status Quo" agreement between David ben Gurion and the chareidi community, Rabbi Meiselman said,

Meanwhile, everyone else in the country - besides the bnei hayeshivos - was expected to serve for three years in the Israeli army. One would think that this was due to security concerns. While this is partially true, there was another, more sinister reason for requiring almost everyone to serve in the Israeli army. Ben Gurion mentioned that the army was the social leveler, enabling all the diverse elements of Israeli society to be united and molded in a new Israeli mentality and nationality.
(Interviewer) In what way was the army to impact the culture and atmosphere of the country?
The army served the purpose of allowing Ben Gurion and the Zionists to impose their anti-Torah lifestyle, philosophy and ideology on the thousands who would serve in Tzahal. One must understand that being in the army means that soldiers must totally subjugate themselves to the rules and orders of their superiors. This enables those running the army to create a new social identity.
This was the reason that the gedolim leading the chareidi community insisted very strongly that bnei hayeshivos not go to the Israeli army. They rejected the new social identity that the Zionists were trying to impose on the residents of the country.

Here, in plain English, is Chareidi Truth 1A: Secular Israel (and secular Israelis) harbor a deep-seated desire to destroy the Torah, and by definition, Judaism. This is not a matter, in their perspective, subject to debate. It's simply the truth. Sometimes the secular hide this desire and couch it in rhetoric, and sometimes it's explicit. But it's always there, deep-down. Moreover, even when they say explicitly this is not the case, they're lying.
This, of course, leads to the Second Truth: Anyone who tries to destroy Torah is a Rasha. Since secular Jews wish to destroy the Torah (see 1A), they are Resha'im (wicked people).
This, of course, leads inveitably to a Third Truth: Anyone who collaborates with a Rasha is himself a Rasha.
With this in mind, we can now understand how Rabbi Meiselman could make the following assertion:

On Lag Ba’omer, Naftali Bennett visited Bnei Brak and declared that the lifestyle of the chareidi community is a greater existential threat to Israel than the Iranian nuclear threat. What Ben Gurion said sixty-five years ago our enemies say today. He declared that he will force us to integrate into secular Israeli society. In fact, one of Bennett’s campaign goals was to make Sunday a day of rest so that the Dati Leumi community could share cultural events with the secular community and achieve cultural unity. While his primary goal is to secularize the chareidim, his secondary goal is to do likewise to the Dati Leumi community.

What? What!? Did Bennett really say that "the lifestyle of the chareidi community is a greater existential threat to Israel than the Iranian nuclear threat"? That sounds pretty harsh. What did he really say? It turns out that in fact he said that,

שילוב רבבות החרדים בעבודה - באהבה - הוא יעד לאומי, ממש כמו עצירת הגרעין האיראני

The inclusion of tens of thousands of Chareidim to the workforce - with love - is a national goal, exactly ilke stopping the Iranian nuclear threat.

Naftali Bennett in Bnei Brak

Did he say that he wants to destroy the Chareidi lifestyle? Actually, he said the opposite. Did he say that the Chareidim were a threat greater than the Iranians? Far from it.
Last I checked, Naftali Bennett is religious, served in the IDF, and has attempted, sometimes successfully and sometimes not, to serve as a buffer between the Chareidim and Yesh Atid. But here Rav Meiselman explicitly calls both Bennett and Ben Gurion "enemies", and makes crystal clear that he, perhaps even more than Bennett himself, realizes that Bennett's true goal is, "to secularize the chareidim, his secondary goal is to do likewise to the Dati Leumi community." How does Rav Meiselman make such blatanly false statements, and put words into Bennett's mouth that he never said?
Rav Meiselmen isn't lying, God forbid. In his mind, Bennett really did say those things, and really does believe. Let's remember our mirror of personal truths, and the Chareidi rules: Bennett is in the coalition with Yair Lapid (who is a Rasha) so :

Bennett = Lapid = Evil

This being the case, when a wicked person makes a statement, it's only logical to intrepret that statement in the most extreme, negative form. Bennett made a connection between the Chareidim and the Iranians? "He must really mean (deep down) that he thinks that the Chareidim are worse than the Iranians, and presents a greater threat to the future of (the-dream-of) secular Israel."

Lipman and Lapid

This also explains the terrific venom focused on Rabbi MK Dov Lipman, who was called, not coincidentally, a Rasha by none other than the Rosh Yeshiva of his former yeshiva. Really? A Rasha? Isn't that a bit harsh? Sure, Rav Feldman walked back the statement a bit, but in his heart of hearts? Of course Rabbi Lipman is a Rasha, because he's working with Lapid, who's also a Rasha. Thus, our mathematical equation is:

Lapid = Bennett = Lipman = Evil

Moreover, Dov Lipman especially enrages him, because the very core of his activities - working with the secular community to try and improve the lives of the Chareidi community - is antithetical to the core identity of a "real" Chareidi. A real Chareidi knows the truth: that Lapid deep down wants to destroy the Torah. If Lipman doesn't believe this, he's fooling himself, and betraying the community he purports to represent.

I wish I were making this up. But I'm not, and if you look carefully, you'll see this attitude pervasive throughout the Chareidi press. (Mostly in Hebrew, where it's more pronounced a vitriolic. In America, the Chareidi community has learned over the years to temper its message in a more politically correct way.)
Take an open letter to Minister of Education Shai Peron (a former Rosh Yeshiva), published on a major Chareidi website, titled, "You Hate Us, and We Hate You." Personally, I find the letter, written by an anonymous Kollel student, troubling for its frankness and open expression of hatred. (Isn't the Torah supposed to bring us closer together? Isn't it supposed to speak of peace and love?) Towards the end of the letter, the writer states:

אין אני פונה אליך בשם הדת. דתך אינה יהדותי, ואלוהיך האחרים אינם אלוקי. אלוקי ישראל אשר בו האמינו כל דורות ישראל, ברא את העולם, הוציאנו ממצרים, נתן לנו את התורה ובנה לנו את בית הבחירה, לכפר על כל עוונותינו.
ואילו אתה, מר פירון, מיהו אלוהיך? הלא מבחינתך את העולם בראה האבולוציה, במצרים אילו היית – לא היית נגאל, את לימוד התורה אתה רוצה לעקור, וכפרת עוונות הוא מושג מיסטי וערטילאי בעיניך, ובכן מיהו אלוהיך?

I don't turn to you in the name of religion. Your religion isn't Jewish, and your other gods are not my God. The God of Israel in whom every generation of Israel believed created the world, took us out of Egypt, gave us the Torah, built for us the Beit Hamikdash to atone for our sins.
And you, Mr. Peron - who are your gods? From your perspective the world was created through evolution; had you been in Egypt you would not have been redeemed. You wish to uproot the study of Torah, and the notion of atonement for sins is a mystical and abstract concept to you. Thus, who are your gods?

I wish I was making this up. I wish someone purporting to speak in the name of the Torah, didn't spew such venom at a recognized Torah personality in my community.
But I'm not making it up. After all, our kollel fellow isn't really saying anything new that isn't already accepted within his community (just read the comments). He's simply preaching the Gospel Truth.
How then can we possibly have a conversation, when we're not even speaking about the same facts?

Why is it So Important For Chareidim to Learn Secular Subjects?

You know that famous book, "All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten"? While the book does have an important message, it turns out not to be true. In order to lead a successful, professional life, most people will need to know a bit more than they could ever learn before they reach grade school.
Mind you, I firmly believe that many of the life skills we learn in kindergarten are critical for a child's future development. But it's not enough. You need to have knowledge and skills. Which is why there's such a huge debate about whether Chareidim should be required to teach their boys (Chareidi girls already study this stuff) basic subjects like English and math.
Chareidim claim that in order to properly educate their sons for Torah greatness, the study of any other subjects would distract from their development. Moreover, should a chareidi wish to enter the workforce, he can easily pick up the subjects that he missed in a few short months.
It sounds good. After all, most Chareidim do spend much of their time studying involved and intricate Talmudic texts. They are by no means stupid. How hard could it be for them to pick up computer programming, or engineering, or accounting, or so many other possible professions? Actually, it's quite hard, because advanced study assumes a number of basic skills that an average college takes for granted as prerequisites for admission.
English: Many important texts are in English, including engineering and computer texts. "So they'll learn English," you say. "How hard could it be?" Actually, when you think about it, it's much, much harder than it sounds. It might be relatively simple to learn basic aspects of a language. But remember: these students don't need basics. They need to be able to read and understand advanced texts describing complex issues. The study of the English language compounds over time, growing increasingly advanced. It's nearly impossible to learn a sophisticated language quickly. It takes many, many hours of study, practice, and most importantly, use. That's why Israeli schools teach English from grade school. Unless you start early, you'll find yourself hopelessly behind later on. It's not a subject you can just "make up." While Americans often don't realize it, English is an incredibly complex language, with myriad rules and innumerable exceptions to those rules that make it quite challenging to pick up and master.
Math: This one I think is easier. You can learn math quickly, and move from subject to subject at a pretty rapid pace.
Yet, there's another critical aspect to core education independent of any particular discipline.
Basic study skills: Yes, it sounds funny, but Chareidim - who spend all day every day learning Torah - lack basic, critical study skills.
A neighbor here in Yad Binyamin teaches at Machon Lev, a well-known College of Technology in Jerusalem. On a number of occasions, he has described to me some of the challenges that he faces with chareidi students he teaches.
For their entire lives, they have been taught that the most important aspect of Torah study is, what's called, עמלות - "the toil." During every siyyum marking the completion of a major text we declare:

שאנו עמלים והם עמלים. אנו עמלים ומקבלים שכר, והם עמלים ואינם מקבלים שכר

For we toil and they toil. We toil and receive reward, while they toil and do not receive reward.

Yet, everyone knows that the rest of the world toils and does receive reward. It's called a salary. Why then do we insist that they do not? The most common answer offered is that in the study of Torah, results are not a critical measure of success. Of course it's better to understand what you're learning and study on an increasingly sophisticated level. But even if you don't succeed in Torah study, the עמלות - the toil itself is what's important.
It's a beautiful thought and a wonderful idea communicating the value of Torah study as an end to itself. But if you're raised on this value, then you never learn or internalize that in the outside world - to "them" results count. No one cares if you tried. They need you to get the job done.
My friend said to me the other day: Forget math. Just give tests. Give tests in Gemara for all I care, but make children accountable for their work, because right now, they're not. They study all day, but they don't have homework that needs to be checked and graded. Imagine spending your entire childhood in a system that made no measurable demands of you, and then you entered a course that required homework, studying, tests and evaluations. And carried with it the possibility of failure. It's simply unfair, unreasonable and unrealistic to expect that young man to simply "pick up" those skills instantaneously.
These aren't skills you can learn in a course. If you had them because you spent your childhood acquiring them, then you could relatively easily learn more advanced skills in a short period of time. But without them, what are the odds that you'll be able to study towards a career, and, when the time comes, complete tasks, meet deadlines, follow through on projects - with all the critical skills essential for success in today's workforce?
The odds are low. Which is why it's so important for young Chareidi boys to begin early - before they grow up and it really is too late.

Leadership and Taking Responsibility

It seems things have finally reached a tipping point, all because of a seven year old girl, portrayed on the news as too frightened to walk to school. The news report, posted on the Internet, has spread virally around the Jewish world, to the degree that it has reached both the Chareidi world and the New York Times (that too is the Jewish world.) In truth, the video is disturbing to any reasonable observer. How can anyone justify harassing small children? How do people justify spitting, rock throwing, and other forms of violence and intimidation?
You can't. So instead people claim that it's just a small group of extremists. They claim that they don't speak for the mainstream, or represent the true Chareidi point of view. This may or may not be true. After all, in the news report, it didn't seem like they had to look very hard to find someone willing to justify violence even against children who don't conform to the "accepted" form of dress. So we're left to wonder: Is it just a small group of kooks, as people claim, or a much more widespread phenomenon.
The answer must come from Chareidi leadership, which has been to this point, silent. And their silence, to my mind, is deafening.
Parshat Vayigash chronicles the final reconciliation of Yosef with his brothers. Yehudah's moving speech to Yosef asking that he remain in captivity in Binyamin's place moves Yosef to the point of tears, and brings him to reveal his true identity to his brothers. The Midrash relates that the conversation between Yehudah and Yosef was not one-sided, and involved give and take between them. According to the Midrash, Yosef asked his brother a simple question.

אמר לו יוסף, יהודה, מפני מה אתה דברן? והלא יש באחים שגדולים ממך? אמר לי, אף על פי כן, כולן חוץ לזיקה הן עומדין, אבל אני מעי קמתין עלי בחבל. אמר לו מפני מה? אמר לו הייתי לו ערב...

Yosef said to him, "Yehudah, why are you the spokesman? You have brothers who are older than you? He said to him, Nonetheless, they all stand disconnected [from this matter]. But me - my intestines are tied in knots with a rope." [Yosef] said to him, "Why is this so?" [Yehudah] answered: "Because I am for [Binyamin] the responsible party.

For whatever reason, the other brothers saw the conflict as external to them. They didn't want to get involved. Binyamin had a problem - and not them. Yehudah, on the other hand, had accepted responsibility for Binyamin. He made the promise to his father, and not the other brothers. And yet, the words of the Midrash speak volumes. According to Yehuda, "My stomach is in knots over this issue. I have to speak out." And only because he felt that level of personal responsibility does the family reunite.
Leaders - true leaders - must feel that same sense of obligation. When things spiral out of control, a real leader cannot divorce himself from the situation and convince himself that it's not his problem. Rather, he must feel it in his stomach.
Two weeks ago, the Jewish world was legitimately scandalized by a startling attack against an army base at the hands of a group of Gush Emunim youth. The Israeli public was outraged and startled, and rightly so. An attack against the IDF represents an attack against the core of the State of Israel, and signaled a troubling militancy within the "Settler" movement. Yet, after the attack, I was gratified to see leader after leader condemn the attack. Despite misleading headlines, no rabbi found any justification whatsoever for the activity, and criticized it unequivocally. Is the Religious Zionist community too tolerant of militant attitudes within its ranks? I'm not sure. But when a group of its members stepped over a very clear red line, the leadership of that community spoke forcefully against it.

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I wonder: where are the leaders of the Chareidi community? How is screaming at children, calling them "Shiksas" as they walk to school an articulation of a Torah point of view? Can they not see the worldwide Chillul Hashem caused by people that purport to speak in their name - and the name of Torah Judaism? To most of the world which can't distinguish between different types of Orthodox Jews, they speak in my name as well, and I'm sickened by it. My stomach is in knots about it. How is the leadership of the Chareidi community still silent? How is a report on the NBC Nightly News about the Torah discriminating against women not a massive, worldwide Chillul Hashem? How can our collective stomachs not be in knots?
Which can only bring us to one of two conclusions: the really is not any Chareidi leadership to speak of, and it's a rudderless ship steered by the most fanatic, outrageous members within their ranks. Or, their actions and attitudes aren't that different from mainstream Chareidi views.
Either possibility is truly troubling.

Defining Success in Modern Orthodoxy: Thoughts on Rav Nosson Zvi Finkel

After I recently wrote about the upcoming thirtieth yahrtzeit of my father, a number of people commented on just how young he was when he died, leaving my mother to raise seven children between the ages of sixteen and two. Looking back, I continue to marvel at what she accomplished. Somehow, she raised each of us to follow in the values of Torah and Shemirat Hamitzvot. Each one of her children is an active, dedicated member of his or her Orthodox community, no small feat for a family that suffered such a devastating blow at such an early stage.

One interesting aspect of my family is the spectrum of Orthodoxy that we represent. From my brother in Florida and me (both of whom attended Yeshiva University) on the "modern" side of the spectrum, to my sisters who attended Stern College and married "yeshivish" (please excuse the generalizations) to another brother who first studied in yeshiva after high school but then went on to university and medical school, to my brother who learned for years in kollel and never attended college and sister whose husband studied in kollel in Lakewood for years. I'm not sure to what degree my mother guided each of our choices, but she honored them. My sister always wanted Beis Ya'akov Yerushalayim. My mother understood what that meant and supported her. When a brother transferred from Sha'alvim to Rav Zvi Kushelevsky's yeshiva, my mother stood behind him. In hindsight, she didn't seem to care where on the Orthodox spectrum we fell. But she did - and still does care deeply that we maintain our allegiance to Torah and mitzvot.

He was clearly proud of his upbringing.
Are his students?

It is in this context that I contemplate the recent passing of the late Mir Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Nosson Zvi Finkel. By now it's well known that Rav Finkel grew up in Chicago and attended what would later become the Ida Crown Jewish Academy. That revelation brought me to wonder: When a modern Orthodox institution educates a child who then goes on to accept some most tenets of its ideology, but reject others, is that a success? Or, better yet, to what degree is that a success? If you find the question provocative, ask it the other way around: If a graduate of a right-wing yeshiva grew up to become a major Modern Orthodox leader and thinker (perhaps like this giant), would that institution proudly promote the accomplishments of its graduate? Or would it instead say (as was quoted in Ha'aretz) about Rav Finkel that while,

"He grew up on baseball, American kosher hotdogs, apple pie and everything else that represents the American Jewish scene. He transcended all - in order to develop into a personality that develops other personalities."

In other words, he had to overcome his upbringing in order to become the Rosh Yeshiva that he became. Yesterday, my wife and kids watched a video report on Israel National News about the funeral, which included commentary from a number of people including Rabbi Avrohom Goldstein, the Co-head of the Diaspora Yeshiva in Jerusalem, who said a number of times in his two minute narrative that Rav Finkel achieved greatness despite the fact that he, "Grew up from nothing and built himself into a giant." 

No, he didn't grow up from nothing. He grew up in a family that cherished Torah enough to send him to an Orthodox Jewish Torah school, an act we might now take for granted but certainly was not widely popular in the late fifties and early sixties when Rav Finkel attended high school. It was a major, significant expense that many families simply could not justify. But his parents paid that price, and reaped the benefits of merit and nachas in the accomplishments their son would achieve not despite his Torah education, but because of it.

I am sure that the Ida Crown Jewish Academy is, and should be proud that its graduate grew to become a major figure in the Orthodox world. As well it should be. Modern Orthodoxy need not be about creating replicas of ourselves. It must - and I think does correctly - realize that different students will find their unique relationship to Torah Judaism, and that Orthodoxy's message resonates in each of us differently. Were we to consider right-wing graduates as "failures" who we didn't properly educate (or more appropriately, "indoctrinate") to "our" values, I would consider the failure not in the child, but in the educational vision. Kids aren't stamps. They aren't clones. They must be given the leeway to find their own path in Torah, allowing them to thrive in the manner most appropriate to them.

My mother (and others as well), recognizing my passion for Religious Zionism, likes to needle me by asking, "What will you do if one of your children chooses Chareidi Judaism?" In essence she's asking, "How would you feel if your child rejected your way of life?" The question used to bother me more than it does now. I have grown to answer (truthfully, I think), "I would love and respect that child. If they want to be Chareidi, great! But," I always add, "I would make it quite clear: If you want be Chareidi, I will honor and respect your choice. But I'm not going to pay for it or support it." 

Rav Finkel didn't come from "nothing." He didn't "transcend" his American Torah education. That education encouraged him to strive to be the great Torah scholar he became. It gave him the foundation of values and skills which guided him for the rest of his life. It probably gave him the communication skills so critical to grow the Mir into the colossus it has become.

His life represents not a failure of Modern Orthodoxy, but yet another example of its great success.